Our daughter Sarah just announced her engagement to Joe. It was difficult to perform some of the traditional engagement rituals with me over here. However, it got me thinking about how engagement is done elsewhere. I have observed a wedding ceremony in Uganda that included the giving away of the bride, exchange of gifts etc and it was really interesting. Our ETU is a pretty multinational group here and I started asking about how engagement is done in the different countries.
In a Liberian engagement, there is a ceremony where the groom to be approaches the parents (usually the father) of the bride with his father or someone else in authority (often a tribal chief). The groom to be then asks the father for permission to marry the daughter and a dowry is exchanged. It is a token dowry here, usually cola nuts or a ten cent piece. That exchange of dowry also constitutes a legal obligation. If the groom dies after the dowry is exchanged, then the care of the bride to be is the obligation of the groom to be's family. After acceptance of the dowry, there is an exchange of gifts between the parents, usually involving a good wine that is consumed in the following celebration. In the Congo, the minister has a huge role. One of our physicians is from the Congo and was married just before coming to Liberia. It is traditional in the Congo for the groom to be to approach his minister who questions him on his preparation for marriage. If the minister is satisfied, he (almost always a he) goes with the groom to be to the bride to be's parents with the groom to be and there the groom to be asks the father of the bride for permission to marry. A dowry is exchanged, usually symbolic but occasionally more substantive and then a large party ensues. In the Congo, the minister will accompany the couple to the courthouse so that they can be legally married (usually to make sure that they are both at least 18 years old) before the ceremony of marriage. In Nepal, there isn't as much ceremony, just the families getting together for a large party after the groom on his own, asks the parents (both) for permission to marry their daughter. In the Philippines, it is much more westernized and the couples will announce their intent to marry to both sets of parents and a large joint party ensues. Elopement is common.
It looks like we won't get to observe an exchange of dowry with Sarah and Joe. However, a good bottle of wine and a party sounds like a part of the tradition that we can do. Congratulations Sarah and Joe!
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